Ahhhhhhhhh, if ONLY I could wake up feeling as good as I did today, every day. Mind you, would I appreciate that I'm having a good day if I were to have them every day? Don't fall off your chair, I also put on a skirt today.
I had big plans to enjoy this day of presence, energy, vitality and vigor! However, my girls wanted to lay low, and get themselves together for their various 'dates' today. One friend was taking my oldest daughter swimming with her niece and nephew; another friend was taking my youngest daughter swimming and rock climbing with her two sons. I can't begin to express my gratitude for these friends taking my children to places that will throw me into anaphylaxis just by walking in. It's unlikely that I will ever be able to swim in a public pool ever again in this lifetime. My chemical sensitivities combined with latex allergy, and mast cells that don't seem to want to behave, sort of make me an anaphylactic time bomb. Public pools aren't the be all to end all either...especially when you live in God's country...which is where we live. Surrounded by lakes, rivers and the Great Lakes, I don't really have any reason to bemoan my public pool fate. Seasonally, I can swim all summer. And, in light of my intolerance to heat, it'll be just as well that cool waters are my friend.
By 1pm today, I was childless.
I had big plans then, to finish this essay for this distance education course I've been doing this term. It's the final paper. It was due on Tuesday. However, I'm doing so well in the course that my prof. says I don't need to worry about handing anything in on time AND I ended up being able to pick an essay of my own choosing because I'd clearly demonstrated an understanding beyond the objectives of the course itself. This is the first time in my academic career this kind of thing has happened. I'm not quite sure how it happened, actually. But it did. I have an A+/100% so far in the class - apparently the only student to be doing this well in this class - and the prof. is looking to see if we can get my essays published in some scholarly journals. I didn't think they were that good, but she does. So this last essay, despite having no real stress, deadlines or content pressure, IS weighing heavily on me. It's amazing I even got ANY essays written these past few months with the kind of brain fog that often sits in my skull. This last essay only needs to be 5-8 pages. But, I've got 20 so far. I've been given free reign to write as much as I want. It was fun, but right now I just want to finish it and be done. Probably because I can smell Spring outside and have gardens and critters I want to start prepping for. There is a small part of me that doesn't want to finish the paper either because to finish it, means to finish the course...and I've enjoyed it. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be when I signed up for it...and that has been a real blessing. It's a class in Program Planning for Adults.
Maybe I can use some of what I've learned to get this Metaphysical Book Club up and running, or something? Barb and I have been chatting about this book club for some time now.
Anyway, I'm still procrastinating this essay. I should take advantage of my brain when it's clear and write. There's a chunk of me that thinks 'why bother?' about writing about education theory; and that that little inner critic (that we all have) that tells me that my thoughts aren't worth the paper they're written on, so 'why bother???' Well..I keep telling this little critic to get lost because, the little critic isn't all that helpful to me, or anyone else. Tonight is no different.
I obviously didn't get much written today while I was childless. I fell into a deep, gorgeous, uninterrupted slumber. And here I am now, just after midnight, still childless...and I'm blogging instead of essaying. And rambling.
I should embrace a painless, foggless, achless, itchless, pukeless, diahrrealess, anaphylaxisless, sleepless, badmoodless and mastoless day...instead of lamenting all the things I could've accomplished and didn't. It'd be lovely to wake up tomorrow feeling as good as I did today. But with Masto...you never know. So, I'd better get on and finish this essay while I can.
I had big plans to enjoy this day of presence, energy, vitality and vigor! However, my girls wanted to lay low, and get themselves together for their various 'dates' today. One friend was taking my oldest daughter swimming with her niece and nephew; another friend was taking my youngest daughter swimming and rock climbing with her two sons. I can't begin to express my gratitude for these friends taking my children to places that will throw me into anaphylaxis just by walking in. It's unlikely that I will ever be able to swim in a public pool ever again in this lifetime. My chemical sensitivities combined with latex allergy, and mast cells that don't seem to want to behave, sort of make me an anaphylactic time bomb. Public pools aren't the be all to end all either...especially when you live in God's country...which is where we live. Surrounded by lakes, rivers and the Great Lakes, I don't really have any reason to bemoan my public pool fate. Seasonally, I can swim all summer. And, in light of my intolerance to heat, it'll be just as well that cool waters are my friend.
By 1pm today, I was childless.
I had big plans then, to finish this essay for this distance education course I've been doing this term. It's the final paper. It was due on Tuesday. However, I'm doing so well in the course that my prof. says I don't need to worry about handing anything in on time AND I ended up being able to pick an essay of my own choosing because I'd clearly demonstrated an understanding beyond the objectives of the course itself. This is the first time in my academic career this kind of thing has happened. I'm not quite sure how it happened, actually. But it did. I have an A+/100% so far in the class - apparently the only student to be doing this well in this class - and the prof. is looking to see if we can get my essays published in some scholarly journals. I didn't think they were that good, but she does. So this last essay, despite having no real stress, deadlines or content pressure, IS weighing heavily on me. It's amazing I even got ANY essays written these past few months with the kind of brain fog that often sits in my skull. This last essay only needs to be 5-8 pages. But, I've got 20 so far. I've been given free reign to write as much as I want. It was fun, but right now I just want to finish it and be done. Probably because I can smell Spring outside and have gardens and critters I want to start prepping for. There is a small part of me that doesn't want to finish the paper either because to finish it, means to finish the course...and I've enjoyed it. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be when I signed up for it...and that has been a real blessing. It's a class in Program Planning for Adults.
Maybe I can use some of what I've learned to get this Metaphysical Book Club up and running, or something? Barb and I have been chatting about this book club for some time now.
Anyway, I'm still procrastinating this essay. I should take advantage of my brain when it's clear and write. There's a chunk of me that thinks 'why bother?' about writing about education theory; and that that little inner critic (that we all have) that tells me that my thoughts aren't worth the paper they're written on, so 'why bother???' Well..I keep telling this little critic to get lost because, the little critic isn't all that helpful to me, or anyone else. Tonight is no different.
I obviously didn't get much written today while I was childless. I fell into a deep, gorgeous, uninterrupted slumber. And here I am now, just after midnight, still childless...and I'm blogging instead of essaying. And rambling.
I should embrace a painless, foggless, achless, itchless, pukeless, diahrrealess, anaphylaxisless, sleepless, badmoodless and mastoless day...instead of lamenting all the things I could've accomplished and didn't. It'd be lovely to wake up tomorrow feeling as good as I did today. But with Masto...you never know. So, I'd better get on and finish this essay while I can.
1 comment:
Thank you for your cogent thoughts on latex allergies; this is an important and often overlooked issue, and I found your words provocative and insightful.
The organization I work for, the Pacific Northwest Foundation, is devoted to researching alternative modes of healing for a variety of illnesses, including latex allergy. I wanted to share with you a video presentation of a case study we conducted some years ago about a woman with severe latex allergy who, through a variety of methods, was able to diminish her reactivity. The link to the presentation is http://pnf.org/html/anna_s_case.html.
I'd like to thank you so much for your contribution to the subject of latex allergy, and hope you will find the case study above helpful in your continued exploration into the subject.
Post a Comment