Monday, February 1, 2010


Feeling a wee bit better than yesterday's glumdom.  Roller coaster, eh?  I find being productive helpful.  That is only doable on days when my body is co operating, which thankfully, it's mostly been doing lately.  SO, my mantra is 'enjoy it while you've got it'....

It feels like a big accomplishment when you get another coat of paint on a room, or sort a cupboard or box on the porch out.  Now I have 3 boxes of stuff to go to GoodWill and need to convince my husband that we need to put it in the car and he needs to drop it off.  We watched "Hoarders" last night on tv.  It's UNBELIEVABLE what messes people will live in and the crap that they acquire...oh, and then I look at the corner of the family room, which is a cupboard full of computer components and projects my hubby intends to do one day; a couple of boxes I intend to sort out one day and then....there's the filing cabinet.  I emptied it just before Xmas, and got rid of another filing cabinet that I had felt the need to start and fill at some point . Sorting it felt good BUT there's still work to be done on it.  Got the living room, kitchen and the movies all sorted (and purged) recently too.  THAT felt good.  It's like you almost can't breathe when you acquire THIS much stuff. 

What struck me about the people on that tv show last night was their reluctance to let go of 'stuff' and the psychological warfare going on inside them as 'organizer's came in and tried to help them purge it all.  I said out loud, more than once, "MY GOD, HOW do people live like that..." and then looked outside at the porch.  My husband was quiet through the show.  I reflected on my years of doing exactly what these women on the show were doing...filling the void in their lives with 'stuff'.  I spend a LOT of time at home now, and  am having to live IN this home more so than ever before (working full time, I found I was coming home, cooking, doing laundry, getting the kids sorted, wipe the shower down while I was having a shower, and collapsing into bed...doing the same all over again the next day; THEN going out on the weekends to avoid being IN this space....) So it was a few scant months ago that I realized how much I hated being in it.  It's not the house.  It's not the farm.  It's not my husband.  It's not the kids.  I was suffocating beneath ALL this crap we have acquired. The differences might not be noticeable to outsiders, but it's getting there and feeling better to me.  I have purged (and asked my hubby and Muminlaw and neighbour to drop off to GoodWill loads of stuff, and have thrown away loads more.)  MUCH more work to be done.  And, I can breathe in my kitchen, living room, bedrooms, and family room now. 

"What do you think?" I asked near the end.  "I think they're ill..." he trailed off.  "Ya know," I added, trying to be tactful, "our driving shed and porches look like that, eh?"  He then attempted to redirect the conversation, as he is oft want to do when we are discussing him.  "Your mother shops like that woman acquires crap,"  he said abrasively. "Yes she does," I replied, "nice diversion tactic...." He laughed.  "We seriously have to clean that driving shed out come spring.  I'm working on the porch right now..." I finished.   He agreed.   

"Hoarders" is a great show to come to some well-needed self-realization.  Extreme, it might be, but it's easy for us to sink into 'picking up bargains' at garage sales or 'intending to give a project a little TLC so that you can turn around and sell it or use it'. But, like we saw on that show last night, it doesn't take too long (heck years fly by once you have kids...) for that stuff and those intentions to pile up to unfathomable messes and clutter.   

This is where it's good to take a page out of my Inlaw's book.   My motherinlaw doesn't bring anything IN to the house without something going OUT.  I took offense to this at first, as I watched sweaters we'd given to her at Xmas going to GoodWill/Salvation Army (my own insecurity rising..."omg, she hated it...")  Her sorting out every few weeks IS sagely and IS the right thing to do...otherwise you end up with boxes and boxes and boxes of crap that you intend to wear, or give away or deal with later, but never do.  My Muminlaw strikes while the iron is hot.  I've come to see the wisdom in this.  We can't keep EVERYTHING.  It's just STUFF.  And I think I might have mentioned before that my motherinlaw keeps a pretty tight ship at her end.  Her approach to 'stuff' works.  So, while I might not have grown up learning this, I ain't too old to learn.  My fatherinlaw too...that man is amazing.  He starts a project and finishes it.  He sees what needs doing, and does it.  He doesn't put off today what can be done tomorrow, he gets it done today (or started).  Our friend Darrin, has a Grandfather, who is much the same way.  He keeps his body and mind active by completing projects.  Those men are rarely down in the dumps, glum or feeling sorry for themselves. Tired, maybe.  But tired, from completing a job or project is a good tired.  And they always find time for a crossword or a good sports game, or whatever makes them happy. 

SO...I figure the porch is a good project to keep me busy, while I wait for spring, and to keep my soul from sinking too far into glumdom.  A bit more paint and my daughter's room'll be done.  It's important that I also see the value in spending time doing these things.  I'm not STUCK at home; I have the time to tend to my home, so I should use it.  It'll keep my mind and soul busy, and uncluttered.

So while these cells in this body are behaving, let's get'er done.