Monday, December 15, 2008


I've written before about weight on this 5'2'' frame of mine but here I am, about to embark on THE worst time of year to 'diet' or 'be good' or whatever and all I can think is...I HAVE to. I've gained 22lbs since I got back to Ontario, and it 'ain't all that good lovin'. I think I must be stuffing my face without realizing it! Seriously. I have NO IDEA HOW this extra 22lbs packed on, and I was overweight to begin with.

Instead of getting all down on myself, which I could, I've decided to be proactive about it. I've spent most of today NOTING what my 'habits' are...and it seems I'm a bird-feeder...small pecks of whatever I can find, throughout the day. I'm thinking THIS might have something to do with my current flub situation.

Some people might want to blame all the steroids they are on for this weight gain...but I don't. That may well be present (inhalers and pills) BUT they keep me alive when needed, so I need to be real about them. I'm just going to have work a damn sight harder to get this under control.

This has been a real downer for me because I've been sooooooooooo disciplined about hitting the treadmill the past 3 weeks. And here, I have a 22lb weight gain to show for my building up to 50 mins of treadmill cardio, plus my 20 minute walk with the dog to warm up. The biggest downer is HOW HUGE I feel. My ankles are swollen, my face is puffy and swollen and I feel like I'm carrying around dead weight on my body...oh wait, I AM. I'm overweight by about 70lbs right now (and yes, yada yada, I carry it well) which is sort of the equivalent of carrying around my oldest daughter all the time. No wonder my knees are killing me!!!

IF you have any pointers, I'm all ears. I gotta move this weight. I can't feel like this much longer. It feels horrid!!!! And wrong. I could totally understand this if I sat on my ass all day, but I don't. I obviously need to keep moving MORE. Eat less. Eat differently? There's no surprise in my not digesting/tolerating a lot of foods...think I might seriously, for health reasons, have to switch to a total vegan diet. Meat, dairy and I do NOT do well at all. I keep thinking I have to eat it because, um, I do...which seems like a shitty reason to eat stuff that your body obviously isn't processing very well.

Like I said...any pointers are most welcome.

I AM drinking water. And drinking diuretic teas today in the hopes that it'll shift some of this body swelling (different from flub)...ugh. I feel like dung.

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