Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Feeling Good

The other day, I was having a seriously dark day. Being virtually housebound can get to a girl sometimes. So dark in fact, that well...it was darker than dark. I called a good friend, in Winnipeg, who reminded me of some the things I used to do for myself to FEEL good. These included, writing, painting, creating things, burning incense and wearing sexy underwear. I made a joke about putting a corset and garters on under my sweat pants and then, it occurred to me that this might actually be a good idea.

So, upstairs I went.

I don't really have a 'sexy' drawer (as my good friend Lori calls it) because my corsets, garters, stockings, babydolls, toys (when I didn't have such a life-threatening latex allergy), etc. have always been tossed in with my regular gotchies, bra's and socks. So, I riffled through my stuff. Not sure that this stuff would even fit me anymore but...ok, I put on a corset, and a pair of garters and strapped a pair of long knee-high socks to the garters. Then I laughed at myself. Because, the thought of ACTUALLY putting my 'lounge' pants (fancy word for sweats turned yoga) on top of these slinky bits was absurd.

But put my old lady, hanging around the house, sweats back on, I did...

And guess what? I FELT AMAZING.

I vacuumed, I did the dishes, I made tea, made the kids their after-school snack, cleaned the rats, walked the dog and got ready to go to 'game' night at Lori's. At game night, I felt great and it wasn't the wine. We ate great food, drank wine, played our game and chatted up a storm...and I'm glad that I then felt silly for feeling so grotty earlier on. Here I'd been ready to hang myself in the barn rafters and all I needed to do was put on some sexy underwear.

I'd forgotten HOW GOOD garters feel on the thighs, especially when you sit down/stand up and they tug a little. And I remembered why I used to go to University dressed this way, on most days. No-one knew I was all vixened up under my student clothes, but me. There is something about being dressed for sex, any moment of the day, that is...liberating, tantalizing and confidence-building. No-one knew, not even my husband, that I was all vixened up under my Mum-clothes at game night in Orrville. But I did. And that, I learned, is ALL that matters.

So, I don't need to be 22 and looking to get laid to wear my things. I just need to want to. And want to, I do. In fact, I think it's time to go online and buy some more...because it's about how I feel. And if I feel amazing with a corset and garters under my sweats...so be it.

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