Thursday, December 11, 2008


Apparently, one of the biggest problems that I face in being a human Being, is my inability to ask.

Should I have to?

Do I wait for others to ask me what it obvious? Do I teach my children that they should sit on their ass until incited to action by someone asking? Or, do I teach them to be compassionate observers, listeners, and empathic that they may be able to do both, ask and do without being asked. Sometimes it's nice not to have to ask. It makes receiving all the more bearable.

Which brings me to another point...receiving. I'm not particularly good at this either. My friend Barb has become a HUGE lesson in reception for me. Normally I would run for the hills in light of someone's generosity but as Barb explains to me, it helps her to feel human, and good, and healthy to be virtue of which, requires there be someone to give to. In this case, me.

I've been humbled by her friendship, the gifts of art lessons, baking, food together, ideas and the "big plans I have for you" others before her, she feels she sees something in me; something worth nurturing, loving and encouraging. I'll be honest, I find this exhaustive. SOOOO much pressure. WHAT exactly IS this great purpose??? This great purpose for me???? Do we all, at some point, find ourselves juggling this argument, trying to figure out why we're all here, and what we need to be doing in our lives to move forward or enhance the planet and the lives of others? Barb feels this great work begins at home, right in our backyard, obviously with me. How exactly did I become a stray cat? I mean no offense in saying this at all. I have had my fair share of stray cats. Funny thing is, I've tried NOT to have any the past few years, and all it's made me is selfish, unhappy and maybe there is something to be said for Barb's argument that her nurturing in her own backyard makes her feel healthy?

Is this what we all need to do to be healthy? Help others? Help others. Be of service to one another, including ourselves and our families and health/happiness will roll in? Boy, wouldn't that be nice.


Heather said...

Reading this sorta made me speechless and a little sad...

I send a gift of beautiful music and images.

Gypsy Princessa said...

That's how I feel today too. I miss you.